Lumière & Letters

So the kids have been sick for close to two weeks now. We knew that starting school for Idris would mean having to deal with viruses and sickness in our household a lot more than we like to but that would be the thing that we just have to put up with I guess. And at the same time, I have started at new workplace this month so God knows it might come from me also. The tricky part is to keep little Sofia out of this as much as possible but it doesn't work this time. Idris is still having runny nose here and there and Sofia's fever has gone down but her voice is like gone now because of the cold. She has the loudest cry in this house so it breaks my heart to see her crying her heart out (as she always does) but like no sound coming out you know. But she has been feeding and eating alright so I think the throat is not sore or anything - just the voice is gone now.  I have to admit that I am a paranoid kind of mum when it comes to dealing with sick children. I can explain why or how...

Ok so hi? Apparently I haven't written anything in three long years. For someone who used to write almost every day, that's really long. So hi again. I'm back around I guess, hopefully for a long time. I have made restarting the blog again as my new year resolution this year so let's see how this pans out. So latest updates as a start. Just had a second baby about 7 months ago. Still like to think that I'm very much still in postpartum period. The oldest has just started playschool this year and we are dealing and adapting to that change too. I'm still working at the same company that I did three years ago. Juggling work with family is not easy but I try to power through every day, doing the best that I can. But I can say that life is mostly about family now which is something that I love very much. Like the whole aspects of it. And I never forgot writing. I still write, just in different platforms. Mostly in my phone notes and journal apps. And they're not ...

So, Amin and I had our wedding reception last Saturday. We just had to. Some of our friends are starting to forget that we're married so this is a good refresh. Plus, my sister also got married and our parents thought that this would be a very good time to hold a joint reception. One shot headache, they said. Well, they're not wrong. The next wedding reception at this scale we'll probably be having is in 25-30 years from now when our kids are all grown up. So till then, we don't have to think about this yet.  They're not even here yet and I already think that far...  On a serious note, it is such a relief to get the reception done actually. To be frank, I didn't plan to hold one because it's been months since we got married and many things have happened since then and given the current situation that is full of uncertainties, I just don't want to plan a reception and have it postponed at the last minute again. Plus, I like my intimate nikah ceremony and ...

  Amin and I celebrated our first wedding anniversary this week.  Time sure flies very fast. In my mind I still think that I haven't been married very long because I still feel like a kid deep inside. Married people are supposed to be an adult right? I don't feel like one though. Well, maybe not all the time.  So, first anniversary.  We had a simple dinner, just the two of us. I have been wanting to try out a lasagna at this place we went before so we went there again so that I can order the lasagna. They turned out to be not good lol. But Amin enjoyed his meal. And afterwards we took a stroll at the city which was really nice because I haven't walked in a while. Talked about town planning and architecture and how the city was used to be so busy pre-covid but it's almost dead now. I know, boring stuff. That's what one year has done to you hahaha.  But one year can do a lot of things other than just talking about boring stuff. Life's very different now, if you as...

  I really did think, at one point, that I would stop writing anything on the internet. But I don't know what came over me this morning because here I am, typing.  My husband has started working this week. We're so excited about his first job and also nervous at the same time because we know that it's going to be one massive change for both of us. So much so that I actually purposely delay my own job start date so that we both can adapt to him working first. I thought if both of us started working at the same time it'll be too much to deal with and adapt to so here we are taking one small step at a time. I have never been apart from him since a year ago and this is no exaggerating. We were together literally 24/7 for the past one year. When we were in Liverpool all his classes were online so he never really left the house without me. Same goes during the following months in Malaysia after we came back. So this is a big change for both of us. It's a big thing to adap...

  Well, I'm back home in Malaysia now.  I'm at my in-laws' up at the east coast as I'm typing this, sitting at the front porch watching my husband folding something he found at the garage. It's such a blissful feeling at the moment, since I can't even remember the last time I did something as simple as sitting at the front porch in the safe comfort of my own home (well, second home in this case). Amin and I miss our lives back at Liverpool so terribly sometimes but at the end of the day we both agree that this, sitting at the front porch at 6pm in the safe comfort of our home, is better. Way, way better.  There's no place like home, I guess.  I haven't been here in a long time and the last time I was here, I wasn't here for a very long time also so I'm still adjusting and adapting. It seems to me that this year is all about it you know - adjusting and adapting. So much personal changes this year. Like, a lot. It has not been a smooth journey all ...

  July. In a blink of an eye.  June was a blur. I had (still have actually) been battling with persistent low moods that didn't seem to be wanting to go away. It's quite frustrating and draining to be honest. I had been crying almost on daily basis and for some time the whole thing had manifested into physical things. You know, illness here and there. Headache. You name it. But my head is a little clearer now Alhamdulillah. Might go into a mini retreat for a little while. Stay off social media. Just be all by myself again.  In retrospect, I think the most frustrating part about this whole ordeal is that I thought I was getting better but turned out I wasn't really (if we were to base things on the recent breakdown). Maybe for a while I was down but because I wasn't expecting a breakdown like this it just got worst and prolonged. But I did think I was getting better. I cut down sugar and caffeine, I eat vegetables every day, I do yoga regularly, I walk at least once a we...