netflix-ing

 I have reactivated my Netflix account again and I've been spending the last 3 nights Netflix-ing and nothing else. It's nothing new. I basically re-watched the movies that I had watched in the past. I just want to feel familiar things again. I had another episode of quarter-life crisis early this week (Monday at 9am in the morning to be precise) and the one thing that made it into the action items list is to take up personal projects just so you know, to keep things/life going/more bearable. I have a couple of things in mind but being me, I might have overthink it and it got me into this place where I begin to wonder where I am able to stick with them (hence the Netflix-ing). There was a time when I was so sure that I would stick to the plans that I made for myself. I was that determined and that focused. Now I'm googling about how to stay focused in life and not be distracted. 

But life is nothing but distractions, isn't it? And I never am able to leave things alone. Always have the itch to fix things, whatever that catch my attention. Whatever that I can allocate time for (which is a lot). Always wanting to do something about something. Nothing is ever perfect or good enough. Everything is broken. Everything needs fixing. I always think that possibly some of the times I have mistaken numbness for peace but tonight I'm thinking what if it's actually the other way around? What if it's actually peace all these time, but I thought it was numbness so I started doing things that would eventually contribute to numbness. 

Told you. I never leave things alone. 

I am also on an Instagram break at the moment (this also might explain the Netflix-ing). Thought I'd include Twitter but Twitter is funny sometimes and I need funny. But I might need a break from it eventually. I feel like I'm overloaded with so much informations that needs processing. The world is too much for me sometimes. And I am limited.