a new place

 

Amin asked me a few days ago when we realized that it has been 2 months since we got married. "How are you adapting?" I said, surprisingly well so far, exceeding my own expectations as a matter of fact in which he replied, "Yeah I can see that. I'm surprised too." Well, to be fair, both he and I knew very well that I'm no (house)wife material. I was worried about adapting too. Getting married has been a huge change of direction for me personally, so much so that I made the decision to proceed with it and executed it under 3 months out of fear that I might change my mind if I drag this for too long.  

Liverpool has been okay so far. Not much thing to do outside since the country is still under a lockdown and many non-essentials shops are closed until possibly April. We took a few walks around once we were out of quarantine and Amin has been saying that the streets are quieter that they used to be though I still think they're a little too busy to my liking (turns out I'm more of a country girl it seems). I've been to this city 3 times while I was living in Edinburgh so although it is still a new place for me it's not altogether unfamiliar at the same time. I still recognise the streets and places that I've been before which is not so bad. I feel like 20-year old me would've adapted better and faster in a new country compared to 27-year old me today but hey my sense of direction gets better now. The local accent is still a struggle for me and I would still need Amin's help to understand their words. We've been to his school a couple of times to sort out some of his stuff, walked around the park for at least an hour each time we visited and last weekend we went to Albert Dock - which is still as pretty and windy as I've always remembered it to be. I came to Albert Dock with Amin (and some other friends) about 5 years back and never would have we imagined of coming back together again after a few years. The visit kind of reminded me how far we have come as individuals. 

I'm writing all of these purely for me to take note and to remember that despite the big change of direction and continuous adapting every day, it has been a quite fun learning curve so far. Some days do feel mundane but trying out new recipes once in a while have been fun. We watch Friends during mealtimes and I have started to watch football games on weekend nights now. I get to do a lot of reading ever since I got here also and I have finished one book so far which is a lot compared to before. I have been watching random documentaries on Netflix and Youtube and it has been fun taking part in the architecture-related conversations with Amin from time to time. I have been picking up the ukulele again and hopefully some writing too. 

I'm treating this whole experience as a time-out to do some healing and learning about myself again. I know that in life you only move forward but it makes me happy to be able to step back for a bit to pick up things that I used to love doing when I was younger. It's like somehow along the way from one point when I was younger until the person I am now, I've been losing all these things bits by bits until not much left around anymore. Of course in parallel of stepping back, I'm losing out quite a number of other things and experiences. Decisions come with sacrifices. You can't have everything in life at the same time. I just hope that I will always be content and at peace with my decisions and choices in life.